Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. I would start making a game plan, create a change. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? But men can still get baby fever. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. Thank you for purchase! love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. One slight problem I don't love her! By Simon Maybin. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Good luck to you. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Sex is the leading cause of babies. We found out. Accept That You Will Never Be First. I hope everything works out for you. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Take this advice as if your life depends on it. And a bit frightening. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. Create an account or log in to participate. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Don't stay just for the kids. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. I was in love with someone else. She needs someone that truly loves her. 1.) Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. Op: get a job and support yourself. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? 9 min read. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. Perhaps you never talked about having a baby with your partner, or maybe you vaguely mentioned wanting kids "someday." You might've even agreed to try getting pregnant at 25 (or 30 or. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. All rights reserved. "We are. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. For more information, please see our Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. Rightfully so! His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. No need to waste time your life and time on him. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? Your bodies will fit together perfectly. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. Does he still love me? SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. So, we got married. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. I need help moving on. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. So family pressured us to get married. But kids are smarter than you think. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. Long story as short as possible! There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. My greatest concern is the child. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Privacy Policy. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. What can I do please? I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. That's what we tackle in today's blog. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. It tears me apart. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? They didn't want to break up the family. We are two total opposite people. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. It was very stressful. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. If you don't love her then don't be with her. I need advice too. I just put myself on hold. How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. He's not in love so he's selfish??? You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. No love. It would feel odd. We didn't have to be. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. I wasn't happy. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. She doesn't deserve that. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. YOU GOT THIS! Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. You would [hopefully] love your child, while also realizing that you shouldn't be having sex with anyone that you don't want to have a baby with. Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. I am at a loss as to what I must do. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. Is anyone in the same situation. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Good luck! Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. He nearly killed you. LoveDevani is an independent website. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. Are these issues still there? Same boat. Well of course he would keep the car. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Welcome! Does the father know? Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . He's not all bad. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. Right? Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. Having children is not cheap. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Having a baby with someone you don't love. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. Steve. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. gals are expect dnt 4get. not the father, mother or child. Either way, I was ready to "play house". I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that SEE THEM EVERYDAY. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. It will not update but downgrade yourself. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. I'm supposed to get married in a month. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. It depends on the person. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. useless boy!! I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. You've been clear with him from the start. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. Why would you do that? I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. I couldn't be myself with him. You can be in a long-term relationship with someone and never get married. After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. Ease into the conversation. You should do what will make you happy. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Get a job and find a place to live. To start? In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? my point is no one really wins in this situation. We can and should celebrate those things while also giving our love and support to those who are struggling to get there, and to those who don't want any part of that scene, ever. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. They finally divorced when I was 19. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare).
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