The Good Thinking team has produced this short guide to help anyone in the Hindu community across London who has lost a loved one, and to help health and care professionals who are supporting terminally ill patients of the Hindu faith. The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Memorial Day for Divorced Parents. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a Hindu belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure. And while most of the information provided above mixes trust with credible sources, theres such variety to the Hindu culture and faith systems that what works in one scenario may not work in another. Only one rule should guide you in writing sympathy messages: say what you truly feel. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. 24/7 +65 9135 4444 Dismiss. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. This period usually lasts for 10 days. You have a great responsibility now. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. People sometimes blurt out statements in the hope of comforting the grieving, but achieve exactly the opposite. Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. Family is very important in Hinduism and healthcare decisions should be made together (normally with the most senior family member or eldest child). Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. Relatives may wish to sit at the patients bedside, sing. The Spirit is not destroyed when the body is destroyed. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply. Friends and family visit the bereaved during the period of mourning which in Hindu traditions lasts for around 13 days. Check with another neighbor or look in your local newspaper for an obituary or death notice. Household items like decorative rugs, afghans and blankets make appropriate gifts to honor the memory of the loved one. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief - India Today In Hindu death rituals, no recording devices are allowed, and the reading source is Mantra. Hindu Funeral & Death Rituals: A Complete Guide - Memorial Planning It is eternal, all-pervading, changeless, immovable, and primeval. Unlike some religions, youll also find that Hindus mourn for 13 days, which can also determine what you should and should not write. In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. Every live session is customized for the client and built from our extensive menu of training topics. Such dramatic statements serve no useful purpose to anybody except perhaps the perpetrator. The Hindu mourning period (sutak) typically lasts ten to thirteen days and includes various rituals, such as prayers and preparing certain foods, depending on the particular Hindu tradition of the family. However, this is not a religious requirement and entering the temple during the mourning period is not forbidden. Otherwise, if they show and express sorrow, guests will offer words to help them accept what has happened to move forward. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. Memorial Day, considered the unofficial start of summer, is the last Monday in May. Blaming the family for not choosing another hospital or doctor is a common and futile exercise that occurs at bereaved homes. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Oh, I forgot I think she was also wearing lip gloss!. All rights reserved. The bereaved person could be venting out emotions and if we simply give them our ears, it will be comforting. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. What to do: Mourners may dress casually. The closer your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died, the sooner you'll want to reach out. Envisioning Fatherhood: Indian Fathers' Perceptions of an Ideal Father. They'll surely understand. However, mourners can check with the funeral director or family for finding out whats appropriate for that particular funeral. May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. Talk to your friend's family. She lived her life to its fullest, so we should celebrate her life to honor her legacy. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. A photograph of the. When Is The Right Time To Offer Condolences? | Everplans Do not grieve for his body, for his soul is eternal. I'm here for you." If you didn't know him, you could mention something special you've heard about him. You are lucky he went early!, I know how you feel, I was devastated when my cat died last year!. You and your wife are well poised to take over your family. See if you would agree. 9. It is important to identify a persons religious inclinations at the start of their care and to find out what they need when approaching the end of life. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. Some people have the knack for amplifying or worsening the existing sorrow by dropping pessimistic remarks such as Ohshe was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her!, How sad it is for her children! When in doubt, silence is the best option. Planning A Funeral In Singapore 2023 Guide - Costs, Services & Customs Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." Hare Krishna. (2020). There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. "Would you like to have lunch with me next Tuesday?" During this period, the close relatives of the deceased person abstain from celebrations and . Consider it an honor to help your friend during this painful time. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. Avoid the eating of certain foods, like sweets. Amen. After someone dies, their body should be treated with respect. Not attending religious functions or celebrations. This link will open in a new window. 2. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. Hindu Funeral Traditions | A Good Goodbye Thats because they are considered to be impure spiritually during the mourning period. For the family, the trauma of having to retell the story over and over can be horrific. Usually, 6-8 people are asked. Letting the bereaved know that you are thinking of him or her and that you care can mean a lot. Some people are able to manage the delivery of a eulogy with aplomb; others can't even bear to think about doing so. 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It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. Sadly, politics trumps principles in Kerala! Your sister was an honorable woman who sacrificed much for her family. It's best to wait until the funeral service is over to greet the family, unless they're greeting people before the service. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. A "shraddha" ceremony. Thanks. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. May she rest in peace. Many people follow thirteen days of. or the universal soul. Funeral Flowers Etiquette - Floral Traditions by Culture and Faith As hard as it can be to believe, some overly curious visitors have the tendency to interrogate the family about the cause of death. APPROPRIATE DAYS TO VISIT BEREAVED FAMILY: BEFORE NOVEMBER 1 OR 2 Just like any other special occasion or celebration, sometimes the best way to visit is the day before the said "peak season." This is to avoid a crowded space and a possible ruckus while visiting. All Rights Reserved. It's fine to ask others to share their memories and weave them into your eulogy. Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal Your mother had a happy death. It is best to make the enquiries on the day of death, and remain close to the bereaved and assisting them.If this is not possible, one can visit the house on even days except monday, tuesday and friday., even the monday is an even day thanjavur dist. There are several ways to show honor and to respect the memory of the departed, including visiting in person. 4. What to Send: Sympathy flowers and sympathy cards are appropriate Hindu funeral rites Hindu funeral service: Traditionally, the body remains at the home of the deceased or in a funeral parlor until it is cremated, which is usually within 24 hours after death. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. (n.d.). And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. For advice on choosing the best form of communication to use, see our article: How to Offer Condolences, For tips on what to say and not say to someone who has experienced a loss, see our article: How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say, Paying Final Bills, Dues, And Estate Expenses. Although not a good idea immediately after the passing, subsequent visits with the family can be enlivened by conversation about the good memories we had together with the person. Discussions about unhealthy habits leading to an early demise can be reserved for later. Good behaviours while visiting the bereaved. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. The Emily Post Institute Inc. is a fifth generation family business that has been promoting etiquette based on consideration, respect and honesty since Emily Post wrote her first book ETIQUETTE in 1922. 3. Service animals are allowed. If you decide to let her attend, prepare your daughter by letting her know what the service involves and address any questions she may have. Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. During this period, the immediate family follows all Hindu mourning rites. Honorary pallbearers are chosen from among the deceased's closest friends and/or business associates. No two families and no two deaths are the same; it is therefore a pointless exercise. Suit and ties for men and dresses for women, usually in greys or dark colors, are common clothing choices. The wake is usually reserved just for family members. In Hinduism, it is not uncommon for someone to formulate their unique way of practicing their faith. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. Finding the proper way to express condolences can be difficult. Examples are I am sorry for your loss, We are here to help in any way that we can, I will check back on you tomorrow, I am just a phone call away. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. And there are loved ones who suffer from their loss. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. The flowers are placed at the feet of the deceased. The Awesome Etiquette podcast is a weekly Q&A show where hosts, (cousins, and co-presidents of the Emily Post Institute,) Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning answer audience questions, tackle etiquette topics in detail and salute good etiquette witnessed by the Awesome Etiquette audience. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences. This can occur when friends or colleagues show up and we forget for a moment that it is a solemn occasion. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. is the best and appropriate choice. Bereaved Etiquette for the Loved Ones on the Day of the Funeral If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. They also believe that the souls next incarnation depends on the personskarma (actions during their previous life). Passing such a negative remark is easy, just like watching cricket on TV and blaming a fielder for dropping a crucial catch the person criticising has no idea how hard it is to be out there performing. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. This article is written to highlight the dos and the dont-s in most situations. Throughout this time, families may display a picture of their loved one, adorned with a garland of flowers, somewhere in their house. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. The important thing is that you have received comfort from the many who have helped you. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. Visitors are also welcome during this period. Sympathy & Funeral Etiquette for Different Religions - Petal Talk A kind friend never leaves our hearts; they will remain with us always. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. Who else would she like to have involved as eulogists, readers or ushers? The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. Think of some light, special stories about your friend. Hinduism and Bereavement | Good Thinking During which time, the bereaved will recite prayers over the casket and place rice balls near the head of the body. Kalyana saavu is roughly translated as happy death, and you would use this phrasing to honor someones life and legacy. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). For information about opting out, click here. Why its so easy for Modi to appropriate icons hes opposed to Can you give an appropriate caption for this? Everyday Health | Visiting a family who just lost a loved one? Here is However, they include prayers, rice balls and flowers are arranged around the body, a lamp is kept near the bodys head, food is offered, and water is sprinkled over the body. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. In many locales, even those who don't know each other will rally to assist bereaved neighbors in some way. I will be attending the funeral of a Hindu colleague. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as. May Lord Krishna grant you strength. Another option is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of. Hinduism: Periods of Mourning | eCondolence.com Traditional Hindu funeral rituals dictate that the mukhagni is only attended by men. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. Few people are comfortable visiting a home where death has just occurred. Copyright 2018 Manoramaonline. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. There are all kinds of people in the world with vastly contrasting belief systemseach convinced that theirs is the right version. Complete Guide to Hindu Funerals - TFS Funeral Flowers Singapore Remembering Loved Ones on Holidays, Anniversaries and Special Days Appropriate Days to visit the bereaved family